Have you ever been just going about your day and you notice that you're just in a bad mood?

You have this kind of negative attitude. You may be the grocery store, maybe at the gym, and you just have this negative mindset. If you really stop and step back, then you notice you kind of have automatic negative thoughts, but where are they coming from?

How do I Change It? 

If you stop and listen . . . that's the skill here. Those power skills I talk about. Number one stop and listen. Stop. Write that down. Number one stop. Step back and then you notice that they are intrusive thoughts.

You hear yourself saying you're not good enough. You can't do that. That'll never happen. Why do you think you can do that? It's very common. Most of us walk around with negative voices in our head. We're just not aware of it. That's the skill is stopping, stepping back in, becoming aware. Otherwise, it just shows up as a bad mood. When we learn to control this type of experience your Self Worth will increase. I promise you and you'll stop having negative thoughts. But how do we start?

“Stop, Collaborate and Listen” 

Number one is you stop, listen, and notice. NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) is one of the power skills and tools that I have. What is NLP? It's a way of understanding the unconscious mind and bring into a conscious mind to understand what's going on. The conscious mind is anything that you're noticing right now. It is like the Little Mermaid in her cavern with her friends. She sings, "look at this stuff, isn't it neat?" She's going over all her human treasures and everything that she's focused on is the conscious mind. everything else is the unconscious.

If you're at the grocery store, and you find that you have this bad mood, negative attitude, it's because your conscious mind has which kind of cereal you're going to get, if yogurt is good for you, because you never know what's good for you anymore, and what kind of hidden sugar you shouldn't eat. That's a conscious mind. The unconscious is doing its thing that, but you don't know it. As you step back, how do you find the unconscious? With NLP, there's an exercise, a strategy of finding where the voices occur in your experience.

If you've worked with me before, you'll go, okay, yeah, let's, let's do this. If you've never heard this, hang out. Each time you hear more of what I teach, you'll understand more about what NLP is and how to recognize what's going on at an unconscious level. So, step back, I'd like you to close your eyes if you can, and notice where that voice is coming from. What is it saying? Where? I mean, is it more in the right ear, more in the left ear? Is it more a full body experience? Is it smashing me in the face?

I remember when my teenagers would say mean things to me. It's as though they took a knife and went right in my forehead. Then it was like a pressure in my heart. But the sound would be sharp my ears. Then if I think of someone saying something that I love to hear, it's like a rolling, smooth, symmetrical sound in both ears. Is this making sense to you? When we have an echo in our mind, we have this experience of how we receive the auditory sound. If you're not completely aware, you are fine for now. Just notice if it is more in your right or left. Is it more coming down, coming in, coming out? If you're aware, if not, just go. Not quite sure, yet.

What Is It Saying? 

Next, what is it that you hear? Let's say you hear your spouse, your father saying something like you're not good enough. Recognize. Step two is recognizing. What are they saying? What's the sound? You might say, it's my voice and almost all my clients say, "well it's my voice." I say, really listen to it again. 99.9% of every client who says they have these echoing negative thoughts.

Who Is Doing the Talking? 

This is the key. It's not their own voice. It's someone else's voice. What are you hearing? What's the negative sound in there? Whose voice is that?

Quick Review 

Step one, stop, (step back, lay back, sitting down) Step two, what is the voice saying? Step three, whose voice is it? Like, I said, it's most likely not your voice, but we morph it into our voice. If your dad says, "You're not good enough, you'll probably morph it into, "Well, I'm not good enough," instead of "you're not good enough" because that's what we do while we're shopping at the grocery store. The unconscious is just doing its thing and it switches the words from you to I. Very interesting. This is what we do now that you've (1) stopped, you (2) noticed what it's saying, (3) you notice who is saying it and kind of where it's coming from.

Let’s Turn It Around! 

Now, as you become aware, this is a learning curve in a skill. When you're very aware of these things,

Take Charge 

I'd like you to, grab those voices gently with your hand wherever they are. Grabbing with your hands, put the voice in your one hand and bring your hand in front of you. The voice is now coming from in front of you. All of a sudden, it changes and it sounds different now, doesn't it? The sound is different. It might already be better, and we're done! Or you can still kind of hear it. Just moving it in your mind, you'll have a different experience. I promise you. Next step, if it's still bugging you, is to hear it again.

Repeat Step One 

"You're not good enough." Notice it says "you're not good enough" instead of "I." What do you own about that? What do you want to keep? Do you want to keep "I am not good enough" or do you want to keep "I am good enough" or do you want to keep, "Well, I'm good enough for the things. I'm good at." (I like that last one.) 

Talk It Out 

What you do is have a little conversation with yourself about what you want to keep about the voice and you switch it to make it yours. That's the skill and tool. That's why private sessions and or small groups are great with me. We can really determine if you're not able to hear, yet. If you're not, then attempted again the next day and the next until this is a skill you have. It's really powerful and it's wonderful. I wouldn't be alive without this wonderful exercise at all. It's a beautiful thing.

Own It 

What do I want to own about, "You're not good enough."? What do I want to keep? I'm going to keep, "I am good enough for the things I'm good at." And, "I'm getting better at other things." You don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater and just chuck this voice because it's your voice that's ringing in your mind. It was your dad's mouth that said it, but the echo you choose to keep. As you choose to keep the Echo, you realize your unconscious kept the echo for a reason and the unconscious mind isn't all that smart on a conscious level. It kept it all warped. We're going to fix it.

I'm going to keep, "I am good enough with the things I'm good at." So, as you hold the baby in the bathwater, metaphorically, in your hand, you're going to pull with the other hand. You're just going to pull. You're not going to take it all, but pull, grab what you want to keep, put it in your mouth and breathe it in. Then speak with your out your own, actual voice, "I am good enough for the things I am good at and I choose what I want to be good at." Say it again. "I am good enough for what I choose to do." And it starts to morph. "I am good enough for what I want to be good at." Say it some more. Say it again. "I am good enough." Say it again. Clear your throat. Say it again. Louder! "I am kind enough!" Say it again. "I am good." And again "I am good." Until you have a full body yes. It's your voice now. There's no more echo.

Be You, and Don't Fight It 

It's who you are. Isn't it interesting that as you turn off negative voices, as you overcome intrusive thoughts, you can notice how your moods will elevate and you can make your own choices going forward in life, living as you choose? How was that for you?

I'd love comments. Make sure you subscribe to my podcast, make comments and let me know how that was for you and NLP, (neuro-linguistic programming) the skills and tools there will help you in so many ways. Have a great rest of the day. Thanks for joining talk soon Dar-lings