One thing I’m super bad at is mind reading that's for sure. Don’t you wish you could mind read? Do you wish others could read your mind too? We hope they are always focusing on what we want, so we just need to allude to what we want and they should know!  If they loved us then they would always know what we want and how we feel right?

WRONG…

Yes, I am good at reading body language and eye movements, but it is not nice for others to expect me to be focusing so much on them and what they want and how they feel. I am in my own feelings and thoughts.

Hinting goes like this: It’s kind of warm in here... seems like it’s about time to eat. …

Another example.You’ve been slaving all day in the house. The kids, the wash,  not to mention dinner. Partner comes home says a quick Hi and heads to their office…

What would one naturally make that mean? “Oh gosh, he doesn’t love me!! Doesn’t he know what I go through in a day? How could he not know?”

Meanwhile the partner in the office is thinking, ‘I’m sure they understand I've been working all day and need a minute to myself.”

Then he makes his way out of the office and you meet in the hall. Disgruntled that your needs are not met, you both get pissy and start to have a nerf, bat fight!!!

Indirect communication is just a no no. Don’t do it. There are many ways to passively communicate, but one on the “don’t” list is hinting.

Another example. You and your partner are driving down the highway. You see and exit. You are thirsty so you say, “Are you thirsty?” She says, “No.” At each exit you get more parched, so you keep asking if your partner is thirsty, and she keeps saying she is not. Finally you get super  MAD/sad because why is it that they are not caring about you? You get into the usual fight. Why in the world doesn’t she ONLY think of me and my feelings??

The answer is because they are thinking about their OWN feelings and you have the burden to be true to you and communicate directly what you want and need.

Hinting! Hinting is a no no

NOW it is time to stop and think about if you are guilty of this! WELL? Are you? Did you try to mind read today? Did someone else try to mind read you? As a result was there hinting going on???

The FIX:

1. Recognition! introspection.  
2. Be sure!
3. Speak your truth and take your words straight to the bank!
4. use verbal communication that works. Say what you mean.
5. Mind reading tricks are not available to humans .
6. Ask your partner what he/she means specifically. Hold him/her to his/her word!
7. Request him/her to use direct communication too!

Let’s use direct communications say what you mean! Say it clearly. State it.

Agree to take your words at face value and use  communication  that works.

Thanks for listening!  If you enjoyed today's episode I would be grateful if you would leave me a quick review and rating on iTunes (click here) so I have feedback!  Also, subscribe if you haven't already so you can be alerted when a new episode comes out.  That would mean the world to me, thank you so much!

If you want the episode show notes and a full transcript go to www.whatstopsyou.com

I would Love to hear your comments on todays topic!  How this information has helped you?

Talk soon Dar-lings!