Well, first of all, the definition Family today has changed. Family is, "a self-defined group if intimates who create and maintain themselves through their own interactions. It may include voluntary and involuntary relationships. It evolves through time and has a history, a present and a future (Turner, West, 2018).

Nonetheless, society pushes the fact that family is biological. Society promotes the need to have a spouse and children. Society asks, “Who will take care of you when you’re old? Who will you have Thanksgiving with when you’re older?”

Well, the fact is there are people everywhere and when you’re ready you can find friends in every corner and all over the place that shares a lot of similarities. You can find people to do things with when you’re ready and call them family. But for today let’s talk about where you start when you’re 50 and living alone or have no social system, yet.

I’d like you to stand up and look in the mirror. The person looking back at you is your family. They know you better than anyone else. They know what you’ve been through and what your hopes and fears and dreams are. That is the person that you want a long-term beautiful relationship with!

I went on a walk right before this podcast with my best friend. She listens to everything I say, helps me understand how I feel, never judges me and I was always there for me. My best friend is “me“. I can always count on her.

On "our" walk, even though it was dreary and cold, there were naked trees along the walkway, and the sky was dark and yucky,  I went into my own story. I imagined beautiful leaves and imagined the residual snow on the side of my path to be gold. I walked on the curb practicing my balance and took a video of my shadow dancing to the music of Queen.

"We" had a great time.

Other things you can do with your best friend-your family- yourself, decorate your room exactly how YOU want. If you’re a guy make it just the way you want, all tough and stuff. But go for it. Make it awesome! I became single at age 57, oh no! It was so fun though to go into Walmart and buy a bed-in-a-bag. I got yellow pillows and a yellow bedspread. I painted the deck out of my bedroom purple! Because I can. I put stickies  all over the room “I am younger now, I love my life, the skies the limit, etc…” My room was a beautiful place! 

When you’re by yourself you can have a fun evening doing a wine tasting evening with a roasted chicken, guacamole, and hummus, you can have a hot tub party with you and you.  You could volunteer at a pet shelter or senior games as I did, which was supersonic rewarding. I love it and I’m going to do it again. Also, make sure to find your sacred space or a safe space outside and visit it off and where you can.

When you’re ready to get out there check out meetup.com and enter your city. Boom you will have tons of groups from basket weaving, dog walking, cooking, to hiking. Sign up for the ones you want and only participate when you’re in the mood. You will end up with more friends/family than you ever wanted.

It doesn’t matter if you have no blood family, you can create your systems with other people or with yourself in a beautiful way, now. During the best years of your life!!!!

Thanks for listening!  If you enjoyed today's episode I would be grateful if you would leave me a quick review and rating on iTunes (click here) so I have feedback!  Also, subscribe if you haven't already so you can be alerted when a new episode comes out.  That would mean the world to me, thank you so much!

If you want the episode show notes and a full transcript go to www.whatstopsyou.com

I would Love to hear your comments on todays topic!  How this information has helped you?

Talk soon Dar-lings!