Ep. 4 Do I Have Insomnia | What Stops You | Dr Darlene

Ep. 4 Do I Have Insomnia

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Do I Have Insomnia?

If this is something you're asking about and suffering from, in this post, I'll share 10 sure ways to help you sleep tonight. The best part is that they're really super simple. Do you need an insomnia cure? Well, this will work.

Can't sleep?  

That's awful. It ruins your day. It ruins your life. It's frustrating. There's no rejuvenation. You may be ornery. You may not know that you are not sleeping well and as a result ,during the day of your orneriness and discomfort. Yet when you go to bed, you know that horrible feeling of tossing and turning and getting up and down and watching TV in the middle of the night and pacing the halls and thinking, "okay fine, I'm just going to get up and get things done." It's, it's super frustrating in comparison to going to bed and waking up in the morning. My grandson says, "Nana," as I tuck him in, "Nana, I'm going to teleport till morning!" Oh my gosh, “teleport till morning.” How cute is that from a six-year-old?

Disclaimers Before We Get Started. 

That is what we're going to learn today. How to lay down at night and teleport till morning. Before we get going, I need you to acknowledge there may be something medical, such as sleep apnea, etc. If that's the case, this isn't necessarily the right podcast for you. This is more about information for the average person who has a lot on their minds and just can't seem to let go. So make sure you check out something that could be medical. So, with that in mind, do you wonder, "Why can't I sleep through the night?"

Once Upon a Time . . . 

The truth is, in the olden days, people used to sleep with the sun. That's really what we're supposed to do. I've got a couple of kids (I call them hippy kids with all due respect and love) that live off the grid and, and they get up with the sun and they go to bed with the sun and sometimes use candles at night. They're so cool. They're really fun to visit. And candles are even intruding in the nights' rest. They said what works best, is that when the sun goes down, they go to bed. That's how the plants do it. That's what we're supposed to do. And do you know what? Here we are--we're all screwed up. Since we're all screwed up, we have to make allowances and understand what's going on so we can change it and "teleport till morning."

Quick Sleep Assessment 

If I was going to be a fortune teller based on the thousands of clients I've had and worked with, I'm going to guess that you have a different routine every single night. Some nights you go to bed at this time, or at that time. Sometimes you wear this, sometimes you don't. Sometimes you sleep here, sometimes there. You may eat randomly. You're not sure when you eat before bed or not. You have lots on your mind, projects to do, you sit on your bed and do lots of things, on your bed, during the day. Am I right? I'm probably pretty right.

As you listen, grab a pen and paper to write these 10 steps down. 

You're going to hear my insomnia remedies or insomnia cure, as I like to call it. They're simple things to help you sleep that work! After you hear them, you might say, "Oh Duh! I could've thought of that!" Well, I'm pretty sure you could have! All I've done is compiled 10 steps. Are you ready? Okay. (These are in no particular order.)

Number one: Beds are for sleeping.  

Don't do anything on your bed, but sleep. Nothing! Only sleeping. Don't fold your laundry. Don't study, don't read. Nothing! Just sleeping . . . and having sex. But the bed is for nighttime and sleeping. Got It?

Number two: Plan for Tomorrow 

Daily plan for your tomorrow about an hour before bed. All good business people know this. I know that my day is like a Rubik's cube. I'm maneuvering things and figuring things out. If I just forget about it and come back tomorrow, pick up my metaphorical Rubik's cube, I don't know where I am. I've got to rethink. "Okay, what was the priority?" Daily planning. You write down metaphorically where your Rubik's cube is so that tomorrow you can just hit it. You can check the things off that you've planned and then you're done for the day.

Let. It. Go.

Now, if you've got a job like a multilevel that never sleeps, I would recommend having a period of time where it "sleeps" and mentally you put it over there, and on your paper you put it over there, because you don't want to think about it from tonight, until you wake up in the morning. If you want to think about it all night, then you probably won't sleep very well. But, that's up to you to decide. Your unconscious will definitely work on it as you sleep, even if you mentally, emotionally, logically, and time management-ly, put it aside.

Number three: Hold Off On the Snacks  

(This is one that people struggle with.)

Don't drink or eat two hours before bed.

You know that yummy late night snack you're going to eat? Like, the doughnut at midnight, you know? Well, you can choose that, and choose not to sleep. These are all choices. Everything. I always say, we choose our life. We engineer our life and we have choices. If I go to bed on the edge of hunger, it's key for me. Just that little edge of, but not actually hungry. That's what works. And I include alcohol as well. I know that alcohol will obviously relax, us and there is nothing like a nice glass of wine right before bed. But, especially with hard alcohols, they relax you for a minute. Then there's an opposite effect later on. It doesn't work like we think it does. So just kind of save that a couple of hours before bed.

Number four: Don’t Underestimate the Importance of Routine 

Have the same routine every night. The same routine every night. The same routine every night. 

Every. Night.

You take your makeup off or you maybe you shave at night. What is your routine? Right before bed, have a ritual of removing the makeup, put on eyelash conditioner, or take a bath or read in that chair, not in bed. Don't read in your bed! Have the same routine every night.

Number five: Save the Drama for Later. 

DON'T OPEN ANY NASTY EMAILS OR TEXTS OR ANYTHING DEALING WITH DRAMA!!! We're not doing it after 6:00 PM. If your grown kids call and say, "Mom, I need to talk to you!" Say, "911 and 811, I'll talk to you now, but if it's below that, then I'll call you at 9:00 AM tomorrow or 6:00 AM. No drama at night. No nasty emails. Let it go. We're not doing it. We're not doing that phone call after 6:00 PM and that is a miracle in itself.

Number six: Write This Down. 

Get a notepad and pencil and put it by your bed. Probably a medium to small size notepad. Well, you might need a big one when you hear what this is. What you do is now it's time for bed. You've done your routine, you have that teeny, teeny, teeny edge of hunger, you're bed is only for sleeping, so it's anchored in. You're so excited. You sit on your bed and you hold your pad of paper and you ramble. Everything that's in your brain, write it down. Go. "Sister's mad at me. Brothers . . . My kids and my grandson and I've got to go to . . . I've got to make this, I got to do this party. I've got to say I'm sorry to so and so. Oh Gosh, I've got to do the invoices." This is not necessarily a to-do list. It's more of a get it out of your conscious, list. If there are some to do items in your conscious mind, then put them on the paper. Keep going, and then keep going. I've had people do two pages of a legal pad, two columns right before bed.

Hello... No wonder you're not sleeping.

As you write and write and write and write, keep writing until there is nothing left. Clear that conscious mind. You might even dip a little into the unconscious things that we're trying to get attention from you, but couldn't because there was so much on the conscious. The unconscious is like," oh, that's right. Something bad happened today and I feel bad about it." Write it down, I feel bad about the thing that happened today.

Feelings, thoughts, emotions.  

If you have to keep saying one thing, for example, let's say you're breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, which is one of the hardest things to go through, and you write his or her name down and you write 10 other things and then it pops up again, write the name down again. Write the name down again and again. Even the categories of what you need to write down about them. Such as I feel lonely without so and so. I feel betrayed by So-and-so, betrayed, lonely, can't forgive, etc. Clear that conscious mind. Then lay down and start to relax. Here is the key--Keep Holding your notepad--Don't put your notepad down cause you are going to think of more. That's why I use a pencil, not a pen. Because you're laying down and you just thought of more things to write. Then you don't want to sit up. You Write it with your pad above your head and you write the next thing and you write, the next thing, and then you just think,

"Okay, I'm going to set my pad down now."

Finally, you set your pad down and you start to get in your position and then you think of more things. Grab your pad, write the things set the pad down. This part will get smaller and smaller because your body and your mind will know that it's painful to pick that pad back up. you'll hurry and dump faster the next day and the day after. It's kind of cool. After maybe the fifth, sixth night you'll be dumping your head faster and faster. So cool. So now your mind is completely empty. In the comments below, I want you to give me feedback about this and if it, if it's true, what I'm seeing.

Number Seven: Sleep position. 

Now you're going to get in your sleeping position. I think about it every night because it is kind of a puzzle. You know the head pillow, the pillow between your knees, got to have your pillow that you're hugging all night, or you're man or woman or partner. You've got this position, this puzzle and you know your "fall asleep position." If you're with a partner and you're snuggling, most couples at some point go, "okay fine, I'm turning to my sleep position." Have an exact sleep position. That's a whole lot to think about and discover. What is your exact, "I'm done." sleep position?

Number eight: Smile! 

As you get in your sleep position, I want you to smile even if your brain doesn't want to. Your whole face is going to smile. Like a little baby smile. Think about it. No one's going to bug you now. You've time managed this time for you. You're prepared for tomorrow. Well, let go and GO.

Number nine: For those that wake in the middle of the night. 

Do you know what happens to many people? About four o'clock they wake up. If you don't, just ignore this next part. At four o'clock if you wake up, and you know you're to lay there, what do you do? You guessed it. You Grab Your Pad! You turn your light on or your iPhone, your phone, you shine the light and you pick up that darn pad of paper and you write again.

Write down all the things that are now in your mind that your unconscious was whirling around, tossed into your conscious mind, woke you up and you write it all down again. Let me tell you, this is the hardest part for me to walk my talk. This one for me specifically because I do not want to turn the light on sit up and get that pad of paper. You can try to go back to sleep, but instead, you lay there and suffer. Well, if you just want to say, "okay, look, this is not working, so I'll just do it." Get your pad, dump your brain. Just do it. The same thing, nothing left. Get back in your puzzle. Lay down and smile.

Number 10: Teleport till morning. 

With all your strength, with all your resources, with you, the person who's most important in your life. Because without you, you have nothing.


Let’s Make it Work! 

Living a life that works, living the best years of your life, whatever age you are, especially as you age and know that things are coming together for you and your life. You're more present for your grandkids, your work, your colleagues, your coworkers, your company. Live the best years fully and completely. I'd appreciate comments letting me know how these steps have worked for you and I really appreciate you taking time and honoring me in sharing whatever I know with you and I bless you with your sleep tonight. Relax and let go of all that you don't need.

Thanks for joining. Talk soon.

Darlene Braden

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