Who am I? This age old question is a pending thought for all of us. When one considers losing weight, there are many self–sabotaging reasons that stop us from having the body we want. One of the main reasons that people don’t have the body they want is because of identity; they simply don’t know who they would be in the new body.
Imagine this. You go to the doctor and he asks you to open your mouth. He puts a few drops of fluid under your tongue and within 1 minute you morph into a different ethnic group. For example, if you were Caucasian you would turn Afro American; if you were Asian, you become Caucasian. What would that be like? You leave the doctor’s office and you have a different mind set, culture and would be viewed differently. Who would you be? What would you do to try to fit into society in this new body?
If you lose 50 lbs of fat or more, your body will dramatically change and in the same way as the example above, you would need to learn to accept the new body and way of being. This helps us understand that identity development is necessary in the process of weight loss.
One way to find out who you are, deep down, is to consider who you were at age 5. What did you do? What was your personality like? As you look at yourself at age 5, notice that “being” and “doing” were very separate at that time. Ponder that thought for a moment.
As we become adults, we lose that separateness of “being” and “doing.” Take a moment now to realize that who you are is NOT what you do. When you can separate these in your mind, create a list of who you are, independent of doing; examples include: love, compassion, kindness, helpfulness, loyalty and more. Focus on these internal qualities; no matter what you look like, you are a beautiful person.
When you focus on your internally beautiful qualities you are then free to look thin and fit.